Commitment

Yesterday I made a commitment to myself and I shared that commitment with the world. Well, Facebook and Instagram which is pretty much the world.

I committed to 30 days of blogging.

Here’s the thing- I love blogging, which I’ve mentioned. I get joy from blogging. It’s a creative outlet. As I write my thoughts, I receive clarity and understand myself a little better. I love keeping a record and my children enjoy reading what I write, especially if it’s about them. Blogging is not a drudgery or a task I dread.

Yet, here I am at 11:00pm thinking of all the reasons I really don’t need to write a blog post today. I can just start tomorrow. I’m tired. I’m not feeling creative. No one really cares anyway, right?

The brain is a funny thing. It’s always looking for a way out. To play safe and not do anything that can cause discomfort or could be remotely dangerous. And blogging can be dangerous, right? Putting myself out there is scary.

So I notice the thoughts. I make note of them. I give myself compassion for those thoughts and know there are others in this world who are also feeling fear of being seen. I love myself for wanting to make a difference and doing hard things. I love myself for waiting until the eleventh hour-literally!- before fulfilling my commitment to myself. And now? I’m noticing how it feels to live in my values. To experience accomplishment and a sense of I did it! It’s a good feeling.